The Smush Newsletter, Oct 17th, 2001, Vol 1.11
Contact: oskillator@hotmail.com
Home:    http://www.mindspring.com/~pfister_/smush/
Back issues available at http://www.mindspring.com/~pfister_/smush/news.html

Table of Contents:
1. Theory Warning ............................. 18
2. Album is Out! .............................. 33
3. New Smush Music ............................ 46
4. If You Love Me, You'll Pierce Your Nipple .. 109
5. If You Want More ........................... 114

THEORY WARNING
--------------
Sorry to start the newsletter on an unfunny note, but:

I've had people ask me to explain further some particular aspect of the
smush music theory.  Well, here's the thing, folks: it was mostly made up
of lies.  I considered making another POP-UP SMUSH NEWSLETTER for it, but
most of the explanations were [THIS IS A LIE].  It was, unfortunately,
only funny if you knew what was a lie and what was not.

Now on to the zany humor that you've all come to know and despise.

Oh, one more thing: turns out Ryker's old captain didn't appear on the
viewscreen after all.  Sorry about that.

ALBUM IS OUT!
-------------
The new smush album, "Life Begins at Forty" is out, and available for
purchase through http://artists.mp3s.com/artists/cds/120/120376.html !!
Don't worry, that's not a one-click purchase... amazon patented those
anyways!

And in case you want a preview, you can listen to the album in its
entirety before purchase!  Hell, you could even download the mp3s and
burn your own copy, but then  you wouldn't get our wickass cover art.
And you know how we toiled for that cover at.  Rubbahead had to drink
a forty, and I had to make it into a picture.

NEW SMUSH MUSIC
---------------
xba - The funky drummer would be proud -- we refrained from using samples
      of his funky drum playing in this song of ours.  Instead, we recruited
      a funky violinist -- we couldn't find one willing or able to play
      our requisite quarter-note melodies who didn't also smell bad.
 
      Yes, our samples are in tune.  We did that on purpose.

      The melody at the end demonstrates the effort of mainstream music to
      enroach itself onto our artistic style and performance -- it's always
      saying "we like melody!  melody good!  atonality bad!"  But anyone can
      write a melody -- it takes real passion and courage to DEFY melody in
      such a way as we have.

pos - We used three devices to make this track.  One was a cool sample-based
      analogue synth.  Another was a cool square-wave based analogue synth.
      Another was a digital noise generator.  It's kind of funny how we used
      the sample-based analogue synth mostly for bass and effects work even
      though it's clearly the more powerful machine and we should've been
      using it for things that would be more prominent!  But done is done,
      done bun can't be undone, as the man said.

qip - This song is powerful in the best 80s style.  Compressed, distorted
      metal guitar.  Gated snare drum.  But this music has more to say than
      Van Halen ever did.  First of all, he's never used a synth bass in his
      life, and we've been using them all our lives.  We use them to
      excellent effect in this song.  Van Halen would probably disagree,
      which is why we decided not to ask him to record the guitar part for
      this song.

      Unfortunately, I think our mixer has a gremlin... we saw it playing
      with the master level knob every once in a while on this song.  It
      left some disgusting green slime on it, too.  We think it's
      experienced at this sort of thing because we spoke to George Martin
      about it and he said that no musical naivete could've come up with
      that exact sequence of fade-ins and fade-outs.
      
dat - The mantra you hear throughout this song is one that a good friend
      of lemonhead's used to recite all throughout college as a calming
      ritual.  The bassline, played by accomplised Double Bassist Yo Ma Ma,
      is meant to signify the stresses he went through that forced him to
      adopt this technique.  The off-yet-onbeat snare part indicates his
      attempt and failure to fit into modern society.

      The turning point in the song is when I quote the child psychologist
      who diagnosed me with a learnind disability after I spend three years
      in the cellar... his name was Dr. Sbaitso.  When I wasn't talking to
      him much, he said "too little data, so I make big", and inserted a
      bicycle pump into my rectum, inflating my abdomen.  I didn't and still
      don't condone his actions, but he made me the man I am today: skinny,
      sick and paranoid, penniless and insane, and a fantastic musician, so
      I respect him.

      After the turning point, it's as if we break out of a dense jungle
      into a wide vista overhanging a clifftop, complete with a sunset and
      birds circling overhead.  That's 'cause I added a melody.  The melody
      is pretty good.

      I repeat the mantra at the end in order to show you how nothing really
      changes, except sometimes things have part of the melody going over the
      top of them.

I DON'T LOVE YOU
----------------
But we'll be back next week anyways with some fantastic new smush.
Hey Rubbahead, smush me over a glass of smush, would ya?